This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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