Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
