just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
