it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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