If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
