well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
