That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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