You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
50% drunk capacity currently
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
