your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
