i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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