Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
