Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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