Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
