you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize