I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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