If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
