Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
