I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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