For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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