how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
