May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
