im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
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I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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