ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
worst night to have a conscience
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
