you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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