I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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