Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
