Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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