Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
