whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
