have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
