porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
