i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
