$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize