my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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