6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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