I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Terrible idea I love it
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
