so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
