is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
