the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
