what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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