I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
