I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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