YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
