i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
