quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
