A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
