i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
