Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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