Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
