You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
