I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize