so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
