it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You can't motorboat a personality
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
