Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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