im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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