umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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