Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
