There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
