not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Panties = found
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
