well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
God gave him joint rollers for hands
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
