if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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